On Our Own Tracks

Our realities of being women who have disabilities in 2020… Stereotypes, presumptions and identities!!!

Feminism, women’s rights and just being born a female. Since the women’s revolution in the sixties, the rights of women have been constantly changing. This revolution has significantly transformed the rights of women all over the western world and has resulted in women nowadays having so much more freedom and equality. But what is life like for women, today, who happen to have disabilities?

I have a pretty good life and a pretty positive attitude towards having Cerebral Palsy. However, I find that there’s something I can’t shake, something that I find myself questioning often and that is my own and other’s perception of my identity as a 29 year old woman. This has come in many forms including: being judged as having a lack of intelligence; people expecting that I don’t have the abilities to organise my own life; random people thinking that they can discuss every part of my life to anyone; seen as being lucky or privileged by people with and without disabilities, people expecting that I can’t possibly know anything about being in a relationship or in love and, when I do have a love interest it is seen as something everyone can comment on or judge. Although I am getting used to these judgements and ways of being treated by others, I find that there have been certain situations that have taken me off my track a little. I now know how to work through these situations to a stage where I know I will be ok, however, I thought it was time to write a blog about it and give a voice to other women who are in similar positions. After seeking for about a month, I was so excited when three of my strong female mentors were more than happy to be a part of this blog. These three ladies are Martha, Fiona and Emily and are all inspirations to me. Also, our own Sev was so excited to be interviewed in the video that you can see down below.

Our first woman is someone who has been very involved with this blog for many years now and someone I look up to so much. Martha is a woman who: has worked several jobs in multiple roles in the Disability sector; is a mother to three fur babies; is happily married and happens to live with Cerebral Palsy. Despite having these multiple roles, Martha still feels like people see her as someone who lacks in intellectual capacity along with seeing her as “a princess in a wheelchair and that everything gets done” for her. As you would expect, these stereotypes anger Martha, however, at the same time she does see these situations as chances to display her resilience and strength. It is easy to see how Martha can be feeling this way because the reality is that she evenly shares the household duties with her husband, Andrew, including paying the bills, cleaning the bathroom and rest of the house, planning the meals for the week and organising for the lawn and washing to be done. Just like anybody else, Martha wants to be treated like an abled bodied woman who likes to get stuff done while she takes on the world.

Along with Martha, Fiona is another one of my mentors. As she describes herself, Fiona is an outgoing, resilient and highly intelligent woman. You can see more of what Fiona is all about through her blog ‘Silver Linings’ and her appearance on QandA. Fiona has multiple degrees in her beloved profession, Art Administration, loves studying and doing art and hopes to continue studying abstract art very soon. Despite Fiona’s interests, experience and ample qualifications in this field she still gets talked down to in public due to her Cerebral Palsy and needing to use her speech device. One of the other main things Fiona finds frustrating is obtaining a permanent job in her desired industry and even though she has applied for countless roles over the last 2 years without gaining employment, Fiona is a fighter and will never give up searching for a job. (If you’re interested in hiring Fiona or anyone else in our ‘On Our Own Tracks’ community please contact us and read our blog on employment here)

Our final woman is another person that I have looked up to for over a decade now, Emily. I first met Emily through our beautiful friend, Storm, and we have connected on so many levels since. As you can see on her professional Facebook Page, Emily is an actress, artist advocate and identifies as a queer woman who just wants to make a difference. Just like Fiona, Martha and myself, despite these achievements, Emily still gets stereotyped because she is a wheelchair user. As Emily explains, people constantly stereotype her while she’s in public. She has experienced waiters not giving her a menu and not talking directly to her at restaurants, people arguing with her about how bad she should think her life is and people underestimating her abilities and intelligence. The other issue that Emily has brought up is the fact that people look very negatively upon people with disabilities having relationships. Emily has even experienced random people commenting that people who have disabilities shouldn’t be raising children. Generally, this topic of people who have disabilities having relationships is a huge issue within the disability community and is explored by influencers and disability advocates ‘Squirmy and Grubs’ and ‘Rolling With Cole and Charisma’ as well as video ‘100 out of 100’ and our Women’s Blog Video down below.

The reason I am writing this blog is to inform you a little about what we, as women with disabilities, live with and feel frustrated by. The best part is that people in the community can help to make a big difference when they interact with us by not presuming anything about us when we meet and by just talking to us as women. We may take a little extra time to relay our messages but you will soon see that we have the same hopes, dreams and societal impact as abled women do.

Women’s Blog Interview